Children have always been special to parents. They are like the world to them and parents keep struggling to make their world more colorful and a happier place to live. They choose the best clothes and toys for them, send them to the best school in town, fulfill their wishes, care for them being awake day and night when they are ill, pamper them, help them to reach a stable position in their career, and above all they love them unconditionally. We can say their life keeps revolving around their children no matter if it's a girl or a boy!
Daughter of one family and Son from the other! Even before she could learn to live life on her own, she got married to the son from another family and the boundaries of her world now were already pre-defined. The culture in the family, the way we should speak or dress, where we should go, which job profile will suit us or even we need to work or not, how we should follow and learn to manage home were all tried to be dominated in one or the other way. Everyone simply kept our choices aside.
But in our childhood, we were sent to the same school, we played together and studied together. We appeared for competitions together, fought together, cried as well as laughed together. We were living life happily together under the umbrella of the love of our parents which has always been pure and never partial. But then we were never brought to the realization that a daughter and a son's living has to be different after marriage. We were never told that a girl marries a boy when she grows up and she needs to learn to adjust! We were not taught in schools that a girl will belong to her husband's family more than their own home. Now your parents but after marriage, only his parents was something society also appraised. A step opposite to this could only bring a curse for you especially in a country like ours which is still following and believe in age-old traditions. The daughter and son loved their mum and dad equally and wanted to give the best out of the world to them but later priorities were dominantly changed.
Break the rules if they are framed wrong and do what feels right! When parents have never differentiated while giving birth to a daughter or a son, you should also hold their hands equally in the later stage of their life whatever the situation may be. Society is made of people and they are the ones who frame the expectations under different roles. Always remember there is nothing wrong or right because most of the things we are forced to follow are just 'man-made' or pre-determined by our elders in old times. When the time has changed, everything needs change, even some old followed traditions or culture. Try to follow your instincts and do what feels right for you and the people around you.
There is nothing more or less important rather both parents or both families should be equally important for both of you. It's only the situation that matters and keeping a balance in that particular situation, act wisely and make sure your parents are not ignored as well. Sometimes the emotional connection of the parents is more with daughters; they may understand them better and empathize with them better. You believe it or not but it's true. So, always be there for them as well when they need you. The parents have always pampered you both equally and now it's your turn to give them that same feeling and love. So, be it a celebration time or toughest time for them, you both are supposed to mark your presence almost equally in so-called your 'two homes' now after marriage instead of this being pushed only on her for your first home.
Shalini Singh
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