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What does it take to bring up a confident and happy child?

 

Even before a mother conceives, the family starts dreaming about the child she will give birth to! You start building up various imaginations. Finally going through the roller coaster journey of 9 months pregnancy and excitement for 'Mum to be', you are blessed with a new life; a baby to hold and love to the most.

Does the journey end here? No, here comes the challenge of winning the race of best parenting. Every parent wants to give the best shot to it. They start giving healthy meals to their children, start arranging for all required things for them to grow happily, or start finding the best playschool or formal school in town. Most of the parents follow the same track as many others.

Do you know what matters? Before a child steps out to a school, the parents become his/her first teacher. They will follow the way you talk, you eat, you walk, and everything you practice from morning till evening in your daily life. The children are very fast learners and will pick all these very soon. So, the first and foremost secret is to mark your actions! 

Next comes the manners, culture, and behavior you teach your child. It is truly said that the culture comes from family! Respecting elders at home or behaving well with family members is just not sufficient. It is important to behave well with everyone and anyone you come across because your child learns the same. The aura of your big chair in your profession or your grandeur lifestyle should not impact your child at all. Explain to them at times what efforts it took to get all this. Let your child not realize the differences in people with differences of the profession in the community. You are supposed to behave well whether it's a maid, a helper, a cleaner, a guard, a sabjiwala bhaiya, or anyone outside the family because self-respect is important for everyone even if they don't demand it.
 
Routine is the key to success. Once your child is accustomed to a daily routine, it will solve most of your problems. Plan the day for them and create a timetable with a balance! "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". Also, it's important to define the tolerance level for deviation in the timetable made. Sometimes punishment to cut down some of the favorite parts of the routine will help your child to learn the importance of time!

Boost the confidence of your child. They say love your child the way he or she is. It is of course the best idea. Never force your child to do the activities he/she is not interested in and if at all it is important, you can set the right motivation by counseling and giving examples but no comparisons. Give them the free space to try everything and it will automatically come out where their heart lies. Praise them for things they are good at. If not doing well in studies, explain to them the reasons logically being calm and tell them to practice more and will do better next time. Believe in your children and they will grow with confidence!

Reward your child but it's also important to say "No" at times. Never bribe your child or fix deals in advance to do homework or any work given. Do not fulfill their every demand and learn to say "No" if it's not important rather if you reward them unexpectedly on their achievements or good work, it will surely boost up their desire to do more to the next level. This will stop them from being demanding and will also make them realize that they are recognized for their good efforts. We all love to be recognized and do the best for it!

It is also very important to deal with the resistance of your child to accept everything you ask them. Giving your time may help! You may now think that asking so much from them is not easy. They will react and may not follow. But there are ways to deal with this resistance. Start spending 'only you and me' time with them with full attention keeping your mobiles, TV remotes, newspapers, or anything favorite far away. Talk to them about what they like and where they are facing problems. Be more of a friend than a parent. They need you around in whatever they do. Play, laugh, crack jokes and let them know about some of your failures too and that everyone is not perfect. Praise them and fill them with good thoughts or memories before they go to bed. Ask them about their favorite part of the day. Let them express. Tell them that they are the best gift God has given you in your lifetime. They will start feeling ten feet tall and you will definitely see a happy and confident child growing in your arms! Your part is done and the rest lies with them.

Happy Parenting!
Shalini Singh

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