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The story of a girl whose fear to be born echoes in every home!

 

I mostly live in imaginations and dreams 
I am beautiful, I am strong, 
I am lovable, I am emotional. 
I have my dreams, I aspire,
I learn to adjust, I compromise.
I suffer sometimes, I cry,
I learn to live, I fly.
I am not easy to have, I am blessed,
I fill colors in your life.
Who am I?
I am a girl, I am a daughter!
Many couples in this country wish to have daughters for sure once they get married. Many want me as their first child and many as a sister to their already born son. The husbands who love and appraise their wives dream to have a replica of her as their daughters. But having me is something in the hand of human beings? No, so I am mostly left in dreams because thereafter the real-life situation dominates!
 
Reality vs Dreams
Ahh. I wanted to be a mother, yes mother to a girl! But everybody questioned why a girl? The first should be a boy because he will always belong to you and you can be assured that your legacy will continue with him and everyone will be happy around you too. The girl would leave you and go one day after her marriage. But still, I always imagined a beautiful girl whom I will first give birth to. In those 9 months, everyone was just blessing me to have a son very soon and finally I was blessed to have one! It was a blessing indeed and I love my son to the core of my heart who brought me to the wonderland of motherhood. Though it was something not in my imagination rather a girl always lived in my dreams before becoming a mother.

The fact is a girl makes your life colorful
The girl is always beautiful. They are the one who has a strong bond with parents. They become the center of attraction for the entire family and bring a smile to every face around. Their world seems like a fantasy land. The colorful dresses, the cuteness overloaded and everything appears special about the girl. Their connection is very strong in the family and keeps everyone close and bonded. They become the ears open to everyone for listening to their sorrows and happiness. Many times, she is the one who makes the family proud of her achievements and reaches the height of success. 

World dominates
The upbringing of my son while exploring and entering the world of motherhood and knowing about this more as a mother and also as a daughter to a mother made me realized that life is not easy for a girl. Sometimes when a girl is born first, still people keep looking for a boy to be next maybe in a second, third, or fourth child. The earlier phase of her life goes in equally competing with others to build their career, stay focused and motivated with all the love of family and people around. She gets your love, time, focus, motivation, everything she needs to grow beautifully and create her world. But when grown up and married, a girl's life is more about building two worlds altogether and keeping both of them happy at a time. It sometimes demands sacrifices, brings various challenges, adjustments, or changes her focus altogether. The family, the children become the priority and she now becomes more of a giver than a taker. Some may create a good balance between the family, the career, the dreams, the ambitions but let me mark it's not easy. Others might be submissive and absorbed only in and around the family. People were right as one day every grown up girl leaves her first family and bonded forever to one she is married except the few cases where she goes an extra step and remains unmarried forever. Her life gets so much involved in her new family and children that their first family is mostly to be ignored however connected they would be except the daily calls or few occasional get-togethers. This cruel world is so vulnerable to women that daily data would be scary to know. Not only young ladies but even a 3-year-old girl or 60 years aged woman are equally targeted for crimes, rapes, murders, domestic violence, etc. Either the woman learns to adjust, struggle or fall prey to this world or get lost in the rituals, cultures, or family of their own. The entire family or mainly the mother suffers and spends the rest of her life missing her daughter once she goes away. The daughter of course comes back every time with the same emotion but now she feels like belonging to someone else more. She is also left in the longing of her mother and most of the time tears secretly roll down to her pillow.  The daughters spread so much love around them that you would never want her to be shared. She should not go anywhere. You cannot afford to lose them at any cost. But the reality of the world is different and they go one day!

Dreams become blur
I agree that a girl is the most beautiful creature made by God on this earth. She is to be accepted the way she is, she should be respected for what she is and she should be loved the way she gives it to others. Why send her away or straight question why the girls have to leave her home after marriage? I have seen my mother remembering her mum the most during her last days and no one was able to take that place. On the day before her last day of heavenly abode, she could have wished for moon and stars or asked for anything but she asked me only my 3-4 hours in her last time. In between all this the dream to have a daughter started fading away! We cannot bear her to be shared. I do not say the girl should not be born because it's the law of nature. My mother was born who brought me, another girl, alive to this world and I could be the part of the deepest experience of being a girl, a daughter, a wife and a mum. Many more beautiful ladies of this world are doing great. It's just the way our opinions matter. I love all the ladies in my life to the core of my heart! Some dreams are more beautiful till they are dreams only. The real story remains far!

Shalini Singh


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