Are we gender biased when we always expect male member or fathers to be the first in the 'responsibility list'?

The word 'man' or 'father' sounds so heavy that it automatically builds up an image of a person who should be the most responsible member of the family especially living in the patriarchal society of our country.

 

Do they have a choice? No, a man doesn't have choices. In most of the families around, a woman may choose not to work or be bound to do so but a man has to go out to arrange for the daily bread and butter. Whatever position they may be holding in their job, from a clerk to a CEO, they learn to lead, manage and create a balance! They make sure that not only the needs but the wishes of the family members are fulfilled at every point in time. To bring smiles to your faces, they buy the best for you and cut short their desires. No, money is not the reason for cutting but it's their concern to give it away first to you. They think about fulfilling your wish list first and keep their own at the end. They are ok to wear that same shirt again to the party but you must look pretty in your new outfit. The children are always rock stars and should never miss anything they want to play or use for learning sports or studies. He is what because of his parents and can never fail to look after their every need and love them equally. His situation sometimes demands more balance than a weighing machine!

They might be very strong but still, a human heart exists inside! As soon as a man becomes a father, he gradually stops being a child himself. They either become mature or maybe our society bounds and expects them to behave so. They have their ears always open to listen to your grumblings even returning home after a hectic day and listening to everyone at the office too. They learn to handle most difficult situations calmly and keep pushing their limits. They don't express themselves and appear to be strong and bold.

But it's not always right and all men are not similar as per our assumptions. Some may be strong but others might be more emotional than we would have thought. Some may not roll out tears when sad but have their ways of expressing. They may not pretend to be cool but are the coolest person on the earth. We cannot be judgemental knowing the gender of the person. 

The ideologies are promoted to bring balance in the society be it feminism or talking about men. If we get the support of each other and learn to cope with every situation together instead of just burdening and pushing on him, life becomes easy for him as well. It's truly written somewhere, "if you want to be the queen of your husband, let him be the king". If in our childhood, our parents did not discriminate in our education or upbringing, why we mark a line at a later stage?

If we want gender equality, step out ladies to take the burden equally.  When we have already learned to bear the pain of menstruation and pregnancy and manage things well at home, why can't we contribute elsewhere? Let him also take the pride of being called the husband of a doctor, nurse, officer, pilot instead you being called the wife of a rich person or a big man holding a prestigious position. Men are not only responsible to vacate the seat for a Sr. citizen or a pregnant lady, you could also learn to get up. He is not only supposed to pay your bills because you have been educated equally and can earn and spend too. Don't always wait for the 'ladies first' as men are also made up of the same blood and flesh and get tired of standing in queues. He had already learned to be protective for his family but you could at least learn to walk alone with confidence, work hard, do your tasks alone and learn to push your limits. Ladies don't beg for equality rather establish it. Being a female if we want any decision to be our choice then it should not be imposed on him as well. 

Let that person be the real him or her irrespective of their gender and not creating standard assumptions or rules which may hurt both of them in different situations. After all, we both were children sometimes, the prince and princess of our parents and lastly a human being with a heart! 

 

Shalini Singh